Formula 1 for Beginners: Part One

It has come to my attention that while there are many seasoned F1 fans on Twitter, there are also many F1 virgins, including my own girlfriend. Renata and myself have decided it's high time to put a stop to F1 ignorance. This is the first in a series (or maybe just one of two, if I get lazy) of blogs getting you newbies acquainted with the magnificence that is Formula 1 racing.
So part one consists of me introducing some of the big players in F1. I'm not gonna put pictures for every driver and every team owner, just the important ones. If you really want to know what these people look like, go google 'em or something. Ren also suggested I just post pictures of the people and save the cars for later. Something about setting the bait first and then snapping the trap. Whatev.

First and foremost, Bernie Ecclestone. a.k.a. "das fuhrer." This is the top dog, the cheese, the head honcho of all of Formula 1. What he says is law. Many of us think it's high time for ol' Bernie to retire, especially with his new "twilight" races that cater to European viewers but cause the races to be much more dangerous for the drivers. But that's more a discussion for parts 4 or 5. Just know, Bernie = cranky old man who no one really likes.




Okay, on to the really important people: the drivers and their team principals (owners). Some are more important than others, for instance Kimi Raikkonen is way more important than Sebastien Bourdais, but again, I'll get to why that is later.

Brawn GP
Team Principal: Ross Brawn - bought out Honda GP and renamed it after himself. Conceited much?
Drivers:
Jenson Button
Nationality: British
Pretty cool guy, but has had a rough start to his F1 career. So far this season he's won both races, so it's looking pretty sweet from his end.




Rubens Barrichello
Nationality: Brazilian
A.K.A. "Hey, isn't that the guy who used to be Michael Schumacher's teammate?" Yes, yes he is. Rubens hasn't done a whole lot to make a name for himself separate from Schumi. He left Ferrari the year before Michael retired and his career has gone downhill from there. It might be on the upswing with how Braun GP's lookin so far, but Ren still says he's more suited to monster truck driving and needs to retire. I don't really care one way or the other.



Toyota
Team Principal: Tadashi Yamashina
Drivers:
Jarno Trulli
Nationality: Italian
Name is often followed by the phrase "needs a haircut." He's pretty much just an average driver. However, Toyota looks to be moving up in the world this year, so we'll have to wait and see what happens. But seriously dude, get a haircut!






Timo Glock
Nationality: German
Timo's only in his 2nd season as an F1 driver, but even in the first two races, he's done okay. I still maintain that had the Malaysian GP not been stopped early, he would have won it. Guess I'll just have to wait for the season to advance to see if I'm right.




BMW Sauber
Team Principal: Mario Theissen
Drivers:
Nick Heidfeld
Nationality: German
Decent driver, nice guy, Ren swears up and down he's Ryan Gosling's twin. Something about a notebook? The notebook? I dunno. All I care about is he can drive, he can look like Quasimodo while doing it.







Robert Kubica
Nationality: Polish
Another decent driver, I like Kubica, but the poor guy can't ever seem to catch a break. I think he could be really competitive in the fight for the championship title if he didn't have such bad luck at times. Hoping to see him go far this year.


Renault
Team Principal:

Flavio Briatore - creepy guy in blue sunglasses. Has a new supermodel, barely legal wife just about every year.









Drivers:
Fernando Alonso
Nationality: Spanish
Went from Renault to McLaren back to Renault. Sworn enemy of Lewis Hamilton. In 2005 won the championship and was then the youngest driver ever to do so. Won again in 2006.







Nelsinho (Nelson) Piquet Jr.
Nationality: Brazilian
Son of the great Nelson Piquet, but he fails to live up to daddy's standards. There was a lot of talk of booting him from the team if he didn't step up at the end of last season. Somehow he's still around.



AT&T Williams
Team Principal: Frank Williams - been around forever, hope he stays. A really awesome guy.
Drivers:
Nico Rosberg
Nationality: German
Son of Keke Rosberg, is actually a pretty decent driver, if only his engine didn't blow up every other race. Also seems to be a magnet for other drivers and is always getting run into. Pretty damn good lookin, too.







Kazuki (Kaz) Nakajima
Nationality: Japanese
Son of former F1 racer Satoru Nakajima, hasn't really done too much to shine, although he is definitely not the worst driver on the track. Also has had a lot of car trouble in the past.



Toro Rosso (not to be confused with Red Bull, see below) A.K.A. The team of the Sebastiens
Team Principal: Franz Tost
Drivers:
Sebastien Bourdais
Nationality: French
Only his second season in, but he and his teammate have already taken the "lower class" of the Red Bull teams and made it better than the original. Not much more to say.







Sebastien Buemi
Nationality: Swiss
Brand new to F1 this year, but already 9th in the championship standings.









Red Bull
Team Principal: Christian Horner
Drivers:
Mark Webber
Nationality: Australian
Been around since 2002, but pretty consistently average. Still, as the only Aussie driver he has a pretty solid fanbase. Been dubbed the unluckiest driver ever. He is also the chairman of the Grand Prix Drivers' Association.






Sebastian Vettel
Nationality: German
Back in 2007 he became the sports youngest points scorer. In 2008 he became the youngest driver to win a GP. Don't be fooled, he looks 14, but he's really 22.







McLaren-Mercedes
Team Principal: Martin Whitmarsh - uber strict guy. He even tells his drivers what kind of haircut they must have.
Drivers:
Lewis Hamilton
Nationality: British
Ah, the Golden Boy who can do no wrong. The perfect one. Oh great Lewis, we are not worthy to gaze upon thy visage! But seriously, this kid has been put on a pedestal since day one. Granted, he WAS the youngest driver to win a championship and the first black driver to do so. But still. Also, get to know his father Anthony as every race the commentary is Lewis Hamilton's life story.



Heikki Kovalainen
Nationality: Finnish
Good driver, but often overshadowed by better teammates, including Hammy. It's a shame such a nice guy got put on such an awful, underhanded, lying, cheating team.




Force India
Team Principal: Vijay Mallya
Drivers:
Adrian Sutil
Nationality: German
Yep. That's him.








Giancarlo Fisichella
Nationality: Italian
Again, that's him. Plays soccer occasionally, too, for charity events.









Ferrari - The Golden Team
Team Principal: Stefano Domenicali
Drivers:
Felipe Massa
Nationality: Brazilian
The baby-faced assassin. My personal favorite driver. He should've won the championship in '08 but Hammy took it out from under him in the points, even though Massa won more GPs. Here's hoping for a better season.


Kimi Raikonnen
Nationality: Finnish
Excellent driver with a reputation as a drunkard and a partier. Also comes off as a bit stuck-up but he's really just soft-spoken. Won the championship in 2007 after a long hard battle against Fernando Alonso and Lewis Hamilton. He deserved it.





That finishes up round one. Now that you know the main players, the more technical stuff will come next. I'll also be saving my favorite tweets from our GP Twitter sessions and using those as post-race commentary. Peace out peeps!